Sunday, October 12, 2008

......

Hmmmm

I think its time to say it out.
I don’t really like to split out my problems to others, but I think this time is an exception.
It has been a very tough time for me to study here in Japan.
Its not really as fun as I expected in the earlier times.
And now I am not really sure whether I can handle it anymore or not.
I admit it has been a stressful life.

The main reason that I am stressful is that I lack a year of education.
Seriously this damn year of education is killing me.
When I first my study at April, it was still ok as I just need to study Japanese.
When after I start to attend the class specially for those who need to take the test to enter Japan universities, I realize my lack of knowledge in all maths, physic and chemistry comparing to other students.

I cant understand and answer the questions given by the teachers.
I asked the teacher but the teacher said they will not be teaching the syllubas in the following classes.
But at then I am so stubborn that I still attach to the words that the agent who sent me to japan.
He said that Malaysian students will not face any problem studying here in Japan as I can get to apply university with the knowledge I applied in high school.

Time flies.
June, I started to become nervous.
I start to compare the syllabus with my high school friends and I must admit that most of the knowledge I do not posses comes from either A-Level or Form 6 syllabus.
I started to buy books from bookshop and started my self-study.
It wasn’t that smooth as there is no teacher to explain my questions.
I can only make plain guesses or force myself to accept the theory which seems unacceptable to me.
But unfortunately i keep forgetting the content i just studied.
The amount of formulas makes me decided to skip the formulas and focus on understanding the concepts.


August,
Summer holiday had finally come and I get to go back to Malaysia and get some support from my friends.
With their explanations I manage to master some of the basics in a short time but it is not enough if compare to the whole syllabus.
Than I set my plan. I will use up September for physic, October for Chemistry and the free times for Mathematics.
The plan doesn’t seem to go smoothly as I used up the whole Summer Holiday and September for Physics.
And even though I studied it all but I don’t get to remember all of the formulas.

In another hand, Mathematics is getting harder and harder.
Initially i manage to go on with quite a fast pace but its getting slower and slower.
I keep practice but its is just too many.
Each time I do mathematics it will eat up my brain power very quickly and resulting that I cannot continue my study on other subjects.

The main test is at November 15th.
If I fail the test, I probably won’t have any university to go and I may be kicked back to Malaysia.
Who can I blame?
Myself for being so stubborn and not start my study earlier?
The agent who lied to me?

And what about my language?
There will be a Japanese Examination during this December.
I hardly even study my Japanese these days as I am focusing on my other subjects.
This is not something that will work just by studying hard.

Nowadays everything I do is study.
Morning attend school.
After school study until 7 pm then I get my dinner and go home.
After go home I study again.
That’s why I didn’t online that frequently anymore.

Last week was Autumn holiday where everyone was busy going for traveling and playing.
And there was the Disneyland 25th anniversary which I believe is a great event I wont wanna miss.
And still I have to go to school for study everyday.
This is killing me.

Honestly.


That’s why please don blame me if I always use vulgar.
That’s one of the way I can relieve my stress
=)

Maybe,
And maybe,
I will be the next people to…….

12 comments:

Kia Fu said...

argh hell no wonder you always hilang

i dont see any vulgar in this post also

aa i dont know what can i do to help you but jom study hard

my new sem come liao tomorrow

i also will study alevel maths myself , borrow and study notes from some friends

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

housefly said...

bro seriously
i think u should take one year off to do the pre uni course. this is not fair for u.
mum said that the real test wont be as hard as the high sch test for the japan students. it will be alot easier for international students. ask your teachers if they can give u any pass year papers for international students

u are pushing urself too hard bro. i am sorry i am such a lousy and useless sis=(

housefly said...

i will just collapse in stress if i were u, u really sacrificed alot, and i am very proud of u for bravely accepting this mission impossible.no one, i say NO ONE, not mummy or papa will pin the blame on u if u screw this. mummy knows how stress u are and how hard u are working. she says u really put in the effort since u went off to japan.

maybe u are right, should focus more on the language right now,rather than liang3 tou2 bu2 dao4 an4.

housefly said...

ya kanajibailanjiaodiuleiloumouhamgachan to that fuckingassholesonofabitch agent

opps i didnt say that

Live Station said...

first of all. WOW
I am amazed. I didnt know your sis could say so many **** words in a stretch. I couldnt.:P


Well second thing,
I do not know well bout japanese education system, but I knew, that even jap themselves do not do well in exams but still can proceed into university.

Perhaps you're doing some sort like Malaysian Pre-U there, and I have to say that it is very hard for everyone too, not just you.

We usually take 1 1/2 years to study STPM, and frankly speaking, that is not enough even to cover all the syllbus they will test on us. (i suspect that my hair loss during my form six period is due to too much of stress :D)

So, if you're finding yourself struggling hard for that, dont worry. Just keep holding on and see what you can produce in the end.

No worries!

peiwen said...

friend....
u can d....
believe in urself~~~~
u sure can~~~
from 1 yr classmate with u...
i am sure that u can cope with all d things~~
gambade~~~
=)
let's add oil together~~

fernie said...

Ee hern,
Jia you!!!!
You sure can make it!!!
Be happy!!!!!
Think of ah Bun,
how we used to bully ah bun when u r resting, laugh!!!
Then, continue to do ur work...
Think that how i bully u in 5S2..
haha...Think of ep's fierce face...
Gambateh!!!
dun tense up!!!!

bestluck said...

LEH..
cheer up~~
add oil~~
pko so hard lvl up u oso can..
study no prb de..
all the best~~

Jryne said...

after read it i depress..
the only word i can say to u is jia you!!!
jia you jia you!
got problem duno de can on9 search for solutions!
c so many ppl support u ya!

Anonymous said...

sorry ah hern, i bz for my final sem exam fr d whole september n october... nw jz gt d time to online.... as a fren, i feel ashame as i cnt even gv u a hand when u nid it...
珍重朋友,如果你做任何傻事,你确实拍拍屁股走人啦,不过你留给你至亲的是永远也弥补不回的遗憾。。。cadet 是一身骄傲的。。做错了一步,检讨,继续往前,纵然败了,却也傲骨直挺挺,干干净净了了落落。。

*ps: 要骂%&(*&()&##@, haha, 麻骂咯, 有空pumping la, keep fit, 不然muscle松松老老。。。

miin said...

leh~
sorry
jz saw ur bloggie...

u r more tough then we all...
we all noe dat u can make it..
we all are here to support u owaz..
no matter how..
u still the best..
try ur best n take k yea..

Lobak said...

LEH....
paise,I long time no on9 le...
now only i know u r facing those problems in Japan...
dun push urself too hard...
u sure can de...
i believe in u...
b4 tis i gt raise up my problem 2 u too...
remember wat u said 2 me...
WE R FROM JIT SIN 5S2 de leh...
Mai xiao xiao...haha...
so just try ur best lo...
hope 2 hear from u soon...
take care oo...