......

Hmmmm

I think its time to say it out.
I don’t really like to split out my problems to others, but I think this time is an exception.
It has been a very tough time for me to study here in Japan.
Its not really as fun as I expected in the earlier times.
And now I am not really sure whether I can handle it anymore or not.
I admit it has been a stressful life.

The main reason that I am stressful is that I lack a year of education.
Seriously this damn year of education is killing me.
When I first my study at April, it was still ok as I just need to study Japanese.
When after I start to attend the class specially for those who need to take the test to enter Japan universities, I realize my lack of knowledge in all maths, physic and chemistry comparing to other students.

I cant understand and answer the questions given by the teachers.
I asked the teacher but the teacher said they will not be teaching the syllubas in the following classes.
But at then I am so stubborn that I still attach to the words that the agent who sent me to japan.
He said that Malaysian students will not face any problem studying here in Japan as I can get to apply university with the knowledge I applied in high school.

Time flies.
June, I started to become nervous.
I start to compare the syllabus with my high school friends and I must admit that most of the knowledge I do not posses comes from either A-Level or Form 6 syllabus.
I started to buy books from bookshop and started my self-study.
It wasn’t that smooth as there is no teacher to explain my questions.
I can only make plain guesses or force myself to accept the theory which seems unacceptable to me.
But unfortunately i keep forgetting the content i just studied.
The amount of formulas makes me decided to skip the formulas and focus on understanding the concepts.


August,
Summer holiday had finally come and I get to go back to Malaysia and get some support from my friends.
With their explanations I manage to master some of the basics in a short time but it is not enough if compare to the whole syllabus.
Than I set my plan. I will use up September for physic, October for Chemistry and the free times for Mathematics.
The plan doesn’t seem to go smoothly as I used up the whole Summer Holiday and September for Physics.
And even though I studied it all but I don’t get to remember all of the formulas.

In another hand, Mathematics is getting harder and harder.
Initially i manage to go on with quite a fast pace but its getting slower and slower.
I keep practice but its is just too many.
Each time I do mathematics it will eat up my brain power very quickly and resulting that I cannot continue my study on other subjects.

The main test is at November 15th.
If I fail the test, I probably won’t have any university to go and I may be kicked back to Malaysia.
Who can I blame?
Myself for being so stubborn and not start my study earlier?
The agent who lied to me?

And what about my language?
There will be a Japanese Examination during this December.
I hardly even study my Japanese these days as I am focusing on my other subjects.
This is not something that will work just by studying hard.

Nowadays everything I do is study.
Morning attend school.
After school study until 7 pm then I get my dinner and go home.
After go home I study again.
That’s why I didn’t online that frequently anymore.

Last week was Autumn holiday where everyone was busy going for traveling and playing.
And there was the Disneyland 25th anniversary which I believe is a great event I wont wanna miss.
And still I have to go to school for study everyday.
This is killing me.

Honestly.


That’s why please don blame me if I always use vulgar.
That’s one of the way I can relieve my stress
=)

Maybe,
And maybe,
I will be the next people to…….